Let’s be real—getting a massage can feel a little… vulnerable. You’re lying on a table, half-draped in a sheet, while a stranger (me) works on your muscles. Naturally, you’ve got some questions—but maybe you’re too embarrassed to ask.
Good news: I’ve heard it all. And better news? I’m answering them here so you don’t have to awkwardly blurt them out mid-session.
1. Do I have to be completely undressed?
Nope. You should undress to your comfort level. If that means leaving on undergarments, go for it. If you’re comfortable without them, that’s fine too. Either way, you’ll be properly draped the whole time—no unexpected sheet malfunctions happening on my watch.
2. What if I fall asleep? Or worse… snore?
Happens all the time. I take it as a compliment. It means your nervous system is relaxing, which is exactly what we want. As for snoring? Trust me, I’ve heard louder things in a gym locker room. No judgment here.
3. What if my stomach growls during the massage?
It probably will, and that’s completely normal. When your body relaxes, your digestion kicks into gear. It’s called borborygmi (fancy, right?), and every massage therapist hears it daily. I promise I won’t stop mid-session and ask if you need a snack.
4. Should I shave before my massage?
Only if you want to. Stubble, no stubble—I’m here for your muscles, not to judge your shaving routine. Plus, I’ve never once thought, “Wow, this person should’ve shaved.” That’s just not how my brain works.
5. What if I accidentally drool?
Again, totally normal. You’re relaxed, head turned to the side, gravity does its thing… and boom—drool. No big deal. I’ve got plenty of face cradle covers, and trust me, you’re not the first (or the last) to leave a little souvenir.
6. What if I have to… you know… pass gas?
Listen, bodies do what they do. If it happens, it happens. I’m focused on your muscles, not keeping score on who’s winning the gas wars.
7. Can I talk during the massage?
You can, but you don’t have to. Some people like chatting, others prefer silence. I’ll take my cues from you. If you want to talk about your latest Netflix binge or just zone out, I’m good either way.
8. What if I forgot to put on deodorant?
I work with athletes and active people—sweat happens. As long as you’re not covered in gym chalk or fresh off a mud run, you’re fine. And if you did just finish a workout? A quick rinse beforehand wouldn’t hurt.
9. Will you judge my body?
Absolutely not. My job is to help you move better and feel better, not critique you. I’ve worked on all body types, ages, and conditions. If you’re here to get relief, that’s all that matters.
10. How often should I get a massage?
It depends on your goals. If you’re dealing with pain or mobility issues, more frequent sessions (weekly or biweekly) might help. For maintenance, once a month is a solid plan. But the best frequency? The one that keeps you feeling good without breaking your budget.
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Final Thoughts
There’s no such thing as a weird question when it comes to massage—only the ones you wish you’d asked sooner. So, if something’s on your mind, just ask! My job is to make your experience as comfortable, effective, and embarrassment-free as possible.
Still have questions? Drop them in the comments or ask me at your next session. No judgment, just good vibes (and better mobility).
Need to book a session? You can check my availability here: www.vitalkneads.net/booking.
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